Result:  Won by 6 wickets

Scores:  35 over match Tigers 133 for 9    Alts 137 for 4

 

Alts march on – another game, another victory, arise Sir Mellowship

The teams played at a windy Wish Park in this 35-over contest. Boden won the toss for the Alternatives and elected to bowl first.

Clarke and Score opened the bowling and were at their menacing best on an uneven surface. The Tigers lost an early wicket and struggled to score runs against the hostile attack. It was clear that survival was the Tigers’ aim which seemed a sensible approach as neither bowler gave anything away whilst sending down unplayable deliveries.

After the opening bombardment, Bryden and Goodwin took over the bowling duties. Bryden kept a tight line, bowling at a slightly faster pace than usual, and induced some desperate slogging that just escaped waiting fielders. Goodwin used the strong breeze to his advantage and floated the ball into bamboozling flight that spun past the outside edge on many occasion.

 

The Dickster, came back from the abyss to have the Tigers befuddled and bemused – bowled Warney!!

 

The Tigers were struggling with a slow run-rate and found themselves at 56-1 after 20 overs. Then, Goodwin (2-42) snatched a couple of quick wickets, including the prized scalp of the Tigers’ skipper for a golden duck.

As the latter stage of the innings approached, Olliff was introduced into the attack and produced one of his best displays for the Alternatives. Bowling with the wind, he kept a steady line and length that used the variable bounce to its best advantage. The Tigers tried to attack but floundered, with Olliff (4-32) taking four crucial wickets to stop any onslaught succeeding.

 

 

Olliff’s four fingered salute to departing Tigers – ‘av some of that !!

 

…. and that !!  A four ‘fer

 

Notable fielding complemented the bowling attack. Bryden threw down the wicket twice to collect run-outs. Both Clarke and wicket-keeper Mainprize took difficult catches. The Tigers struggled to 133-9, but the low total could still prove a challenge on the difficult playing surface and with the strong wind.

 

Arise Sir Keith

 

At tea, skipper Boden announced a daring change in the batting line-up. Mellowship, normally banished to number 11, was promoted high into the middle-order. The skipper evoked the legend of Joan of Arc as he recollected divine night-time visions he had seen that foretold the brilliance of a Mellowship innings (other onlookers observed a more prosaic reason suggesting that Mellowship’s obsequious flattering and transparent buttering up had clearly worked on the spineless skipper).

Whatever the reason, the plan would be sorely tested as an early innings collapse saw the Alternatives at 27-3 and the confident Tigers’ bowlers on the rampage. A lot rested on Mellowship and Spink as they tried to rebuild the innings.

Famously, the gritty 1980s Australian captain, Steve Waugh, remarked that he stopped using certain attacking strokes and narrowed his batting repertoire for Test match cricket to reduce unnecessary risk. Mellowship appears to have taken this maxim to the next level and has decided to abandon the use of nearly all cricketing strokes, bar just two.  Employing either an obturate, defiant defensive prod or a leg-side flourishing swipe proved to be ample choice for Mellowship and it worked imperiously.

 

 

Meanwhile, Spink demonstrated the art of batting as taught in the finest cricketing manuals. An array of drives, flicks, hooks and cuts caressed the cricket ball around the ground.

Together Mellowship and Spink saw off the more accomplished bowlers and seized upon the weaker ones. A confident stumping appeal almost stopped Mellowship in his tracks but umpire Bryden called the decision “not out” to the general surprise and possible dismay of the Tigers.

Bryden has a slightly unorthodox and unique approach to his umpiring duties. He appears to see it as a wonderful opportunity to rest his eyes during a busy week. As a result, most of the contentious decisions this season he managed to miss because he wasn’t watching. Whilst this could bring anger and rebuke from the opposition for most umpires, Bryden manages to disarm any confrontation with his abundant charm and a studied look (although behind this reassuring exterior, its rumoured that he’s really musing about the next stock-take and whether to slash prices on fork handles).

 

 

 

Despite the stumping scare, the partnership gathered pace and the score passed beyond 100. The game had been taken into safe waters by the determined duo, but then disaster struck.

Mellowship elected to use his leg-side flourish to a dreadful, but dastardly, delivery that sneaked under the bat and had him clean bowled. Immediately he fell to the ground and threw off his gloves in dramatic gesture. The watching spectators gasped. Was this frustration or petulance from our batting hero? Fortunately, it did not seem to matter as then he embarked on a new ritual for dismissed batsman that involved embracing most of the opponents and enthusing how much he loved each of them. The crowd witnessed a unique moment when sporting rivalry was supplanted by grown men cuddling. As he returned to the pavilion, Mellowship (25) announced he didn’t want the innings to end…but then, rather impertinently, a spectator reminded him that he had been bowled so it was not really his choice. Amazingly, it appears the skipper’s transcendental premonitions of Mellowship’s innings may have come true as the team celebrated his quarter of a century runs.

 The Tigers were over the moon to see the end of Mellowship – the dangerman

 

Mel’s finest Alts batting display – we are not worthy

 

After the excitement of the dismissal, there was still a game to be won. Clarke (16 not out) batted with assurance and unfurled the finest shot of the match in a glorious cover drive to the boundary.

Oh I say … Shot of the season from King Kurt

 

Spink (60 not out) never looked troubled and led the team onwards. And so to another glorious victory, this time by 6 wickets. The Alternatives played as a unified, finely-tuned cricketing machine. Relentless towards victory and joined with a shared passion.

 

 Our batting heros – Rich “granite” Spinkers and  Melly “2 shot” Mel – we salute you

 

 

The post match celebrations at The George Payne continued long into the night (again) – You were great, no you were great, no you were great etc

 

Scorecard:

 

Zambuca Tigers CC: 133-9

Bowling figures:

Clarke: 5-1-6-1

Score: 7-1-19-0

Bryden: 7-0-18-0

Goodwin: 8-0-42-2

Olliff: 6-0-32-4

Spink: 2-0-6-0

 

Catches: Clarke (1), Goodwin (1), Mainprize (1)

 

The Alternatives: 137-4

Batting:

Green: Bowled 14

Bryden: Caught 8

Stenner: Bowled 0

Mellowship: Bowled 25

Spink: Not Out 60

Clarke: Not Out 16.

 

Rest did not bat.