Result: Alternatives fail to hold out in two day encounter
Score: Alternatives 227 all out and 84 all out
Brockley 236 – 5 declared and 174 -5 declared
Brockley win by 99 runs
The Alts head up the motorway in convoy Mad Mel style
Match report
On Saturday 30th May, a pioneering group of Alternatives’ cricketers set forth from the Shire of Hove to venture to new lands and seek fresh opposition in unknown territories, to go further than before and explore beyond the M25. With the Dartford Crossing behind us, we decided to continue our travels and headed northwards towards the settlement of Norwich. As the motorway receded in the distance, the roads narrowed across new counties, crossing streams and into fresh vale.
My group were fortunate and found a service station that took us in. They gave us refreshments, such as coffee and doughnuts, then allowed us to continue our journey. By midday we had reached Suffolk and soon we fell upon the noble sight of Culford School with its immaculate cricket pitch. There, under the thatched roof of the pavilion, we met our opposition for the first time. The gathering was convivial as we recognised our many similarities and soon realised all folk can prosper together, entwined by cricket. So the first encounter was friendly…and yet by evening would become more interesting still, but that will be revealed later in this tale.
The match would be decided in two innings and played over two days. A classic affair without the inconveniences or impertinence of modern interferences.
The opposition batted first and were faced with the eager assaults of Score and Stenner. Both bowled with discipline. Score demonstrated good pace, length and bounce off a lively wicket. Stenner advanced with a happy menace and managed better rewards by taking both openers’ wickets, but really this success was shared as the pressure had been applied by both. The opening spell was prolonged because of the willingness and fine endeavour showed by both but unfortunately further breakthroughs proved too difficult.
In Englands green and pleasant land
The No.3 for the home side, Tristram, was a young accomplished cricketer and was just proving to be too good. Green and the Petworth Pair, Jezza and Alan Wakeford, were called into the action and tried to carry the team’s colours closer to glory but the young batter was playing an outstanding innings. Further wickets were taken but the No.3 could not be dislodged and his scoring simply accelerated.
Soon after lunch, Mark Blackledge declared his innings at 236-5. Tristram was 150 not out and had been the notable performer, dominating the contest to that point.
Robertson and Green opened and a strong start was going to be imperative. The Alternatives had begun the game a man down and there were a number of novice batsman in the ranks. Any hint of trouble could easily start a panic.
The bowling was tight and efficient but both batters proved steadfast. Neither looked troubled and the score advanced nicely towards the half-century. But then disaster. Green (20) was trapped in front and given LBW just as he looked most assured.
There were some mutterings of “well its not exactly Wish Park is it”
Boden joined Robertson and the first ambition was consolidation. The bowling was maintained to a high standard with little rest-bite offered by successive changes. In fact, the opposition appeared to call in better and faster bowlers as the partnership started to grow. The fielders gradually encroached closer and the number of slips swelled as the edge of the bat was challenged. But despite some close shaves the scoreboard ticked along at a decent pace, helped by the aggressive field placements.
First Boden reached his fifty and then any risk of a follow-on was easily averted as the score raced beyond 136. But, by now, Robertson was starting to flag. The conversation in the middle turned to the skipper imploring that he could not go on. Almost like the brave but weary sergeant major wounded in a forsaken shell-hole in No-Man’s Land he pleaded that he should be left as “my legs are shot, there’s nothing left” and his men must advance without him. Boden tried to cajole him but could see the spirit was slipping out, he had earned his atonement and just needed rest. As a single was called, Robertson’s heart reacted but his legs would no longer carry him and he was “run-out”, just short of his 50. Mournfully he left the field but his job had been well done.
Denslow was next in on his debut for the Alternatives. It was a baptism of fire as he faced the opponent’s fastest and most dangerous bowler from underneath his helmet. A cricketing gap of over 30 years is probably not the best preparation for this situation and he could not withstand for long.
Boden on the offensive
Boden was joined by Score as the end of play was approached. However, Boden slashed a cut and was caught low down in the gully. He was out for 80, denied the chance of being not out overnight and chasing a first century for the Alternatives, but he had guided the team towards relative safety.
At the close, Score and Stenner had settled in and the Alternatives total had reached 201-4. The game was nicely poised and the honours were reasonably shared. The Alternatives hoped that the next day may bring them a lead and allow them to apply some pressure back.
Then the evening festivities started. The hosts provided warm hospitality whilst the teams were entertained with songs from troubadours from both sides. But as the night advanced beyond midnight some of the tourists seemed to be missing the Shire, a long way from home, and songs reached out to the night, calling for absent loved ones. Green in particular looked vulnerable. And so it proved.
A “Mel amount” the new drink measure for Brandy consumption
An opponent serenaded a lyrical poetic song towards the misty-eyed Green. Ignoring any awkwardness shown by other members of the fellowship, Green allowed himself to be seduced by the situation. As the music stopped there was a trance-like gap in time, a frozen second, and then befell the Kiss. Two men, from different teams, but sharing a stolen moment in the night as they joined lips. Of course, the moment could not last and the gathering slowly disbanded. Both teams realised that on the next day the match would have to continue, the players would be rivals again. But those who witnessed the Kiss will long remember it.
It started with a kiss
As the day broke it became clear that the bad weather could play a part in the match. In harsh windy conditions, both Score (26) and Stenner lost their wickets early. The remaining batsman tried to reinvigorate the innings but the bowling proved too fast and clinical. A clattering of wickets left the final score at 227 all out, meaning a first innings deficit of 9 runs.
With frequent rain interruptions the opposition went about setting a challenging target for the Alternatives to chase in the last innings. Mellowship and Denslow volunteered to bowl to help relieve the tired limbs of the more experienced bowling unit and both took wickets. Jurg tirelessly chased the boundary perimeter and picked up the ball with clean, effortless scoops.
By mid-afternoon, the Blackledge XI declared at 174-5, leaving a target of 184 for victory.
But the Alternatives’ innings started disastrously. Boden, Score then Denslow were all out in quick succession. Stenner (19) hit some decent shots but then missed his favourite leg-side paddle to be clean bowled. Robertson joined Green in the middle and the effort was to survive until the end and no thoughts of winning the match remained.
The next wicket would prove crucial. Green succumbed to his second LBW of the weekend and now the batting tail was exposed with less than an hour remaining to survive.
Jezza Wakeford joined Robertson and was given a pep-talk in the middle, stressing the need to block out and defend to the end. But that’s not the rock ‘n’ roll way. You wouldn’t ask Keith Moon, Slash or Lemmy to block and quietly defend. It’s not in their nature and so it proved. A slashing, buccaneering slog could not be resisted and Jezza was caught, leaving the field with his head bowed.
The end is nigh for The Alts – Alan wishing he were at at Quo gig
Further wickets tumbled. With one over remaining, only Alan Wakeford was left to face the spin of Mark Blackledge. The fielders encroached close to the bat, like hyenas scavenging for their prey. Alan defied them and held his nerve for four balls. But then on the fifth, the penultimate ball of the match, a slightest mis-contact on the bat caused the ball to ricochet to a jubilant catcher. The last wicket had been taken and the match was lost.
That evening the party had to leave Suffolk. Disappointed to have lost the match but the Brokebat Tour had been a success. As we returned to the Shire, it was remembered that the next clash was against the Cainers, our sworn rivals. And Green promised he would not be kissing any of them.
Creation of The Suffolk Ashes
On the evening after the match the victorios captain and his trusty leiutenant ceremoniously burnt the bails. The ashes were poured into the empty brandy bottle from the night before (good effort there Mel), and from this day forth each year when we meet we will be playing for the “Suffolk Ashes”
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